Expansion Joint

Day 7 93 to go

Colliding Galaxies Make Love not War - Hubble

Yoga Health Center San Carlos.  A silent class needed after the "melt down". Received a few warm (knowing?) smiles today. I attend San Carlos maybe 3 or 4 times a month.This studio is friendly and chatty but I know no one here.  Maybe they were being nice or maybe they recognized the "China Syndrome Gal" from Saturday. Adore a silent class. It allows me to gauge where I am in my practice. Only think about the best approach to pose and the best use of breath. How well have I  been paying attention? Who's words are running in my head for each pose? I like to hear the names of the postures and that is what we received in silent class today. I am still being too effected by what is going on on other people's mats. If they fall, I fall.  If they stop trying to go back in, I stop trying. I put myself close to the door today in case another melt down emerged. It did not. A great class, must do that more often.  I need it to keep the meltdowns at bay, apparently. 


Bikram Yoga Tip of the Day:Balancing Stick Tulandasana. When you raise your arms and interlock your fingers, engage every muscle from the floor to the ceiling. Start with your hands and feet always. When you step out make sure both your elbows and both your knees are locked. Before you tilt, check in the mirror that your hips are in alignment. Inhale and stretch everything. Exhale and pull, pull, pull. Pull your palms together, pull  your arms behind your ears, your  finger index fingers towards  the mirror, pull your back apart, pull your leg up, pull your toes to touch the back of the room. Check to make sure your extended leg is straight and not rotated, sometimes you need to rotate your foot, your ankle,  or your hip joint to maintain the correct hip alignment.  Exhale and pull you arms forward and your toes back.  Feel your vertebrae expand like the universe. 

China Syndrome




How to cook Chicken Kiev.
 First you heat the city to 2000 degrees

 Day 6  94 to go

Hanging out at  the ZPokemon Spa for the weekend. Out of town feels so good. The bees are busy in the Wisteria. The old dogs, sleeping on their sides, drawing up the coolness of the tile, waiting for the heat of the day to pass. It is quiet here, musical instrucments strewn about in every room, abandoned.  There are plenty of quail running around the front yard. The bees love the purple flowering bushes in the front, the grafted  fruit trees are flowering. Meant to get to the  7 am silent class but did not sleep well.   Went to the 9 am class in San Carlos. Feeling good about this challenge. And my intention of psychic support for MM in Teacher Training. (TT)  Bill was teaching.  I always come away with a new understanding of some aspect of a pose when I take one of Bills classes.  Super crowded.   The class has good synergy.  I have been struggling all week with my practice, literally  feeling like the best of my practice was melting away, not being able to hold a pose, needing breaks, thinking I might be at risk for a cardiac event.  My physical proof  of a dedicated practice evident only in the fact that I now possess  a firmer  handshake. Sadly, I can not remember the last time I shook any ones hand, though. If you cant do it on the Internet it is no longer meaningful. Handshakes were developed as sign of trust,  You exposed your vulnerable heart to a potential enemy in possession of  a sword or dagger. Thank god for dogs, they don't wield daggers. I want a tee shirt that says, "I have been doing Bikram Yoga for years and all I got was this firm handshake."  

 35 minutes into the class I started to have a full blown anxiety attack. By the time Jamushirasana with Paschimottanasa rolled round,  I had gone from crying silenting  to sobbing, complete with shaking and gasping for air. Trying, unsuccessfully, to keep it to myself. I  wanted to run out of the studio and scream at the top of my lungs:::::: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE ::::::::::

 Very embarrassing on a full studio class day. Must be my solidarity with TT.

Diaphram is key

Bikram Yoga Tip of the Day: Lie about who you are.  That way any story about the crazy old lady who sobbed in class won't be about you. Dandayama Dhanurasa Standing Bow Pulling Pose  Your weight should be distributed all over you foot. Today in class we were guided to hold our edge for two breaths, talked through the  inhalation and exhalation,  this helped deepen the pose without "muscling through."  As King George the VI said in the "The Kings Speech, " Let the microphone do the work."

Same principal applies. 

Oh Miss Crabtree ...

Day 5  l 95 to go

June Marlow as Miss Crabtree

 Anyone who wants to talk to me for 5 minutes takes up 45 minutes, and when I hang up I have another hours worth of notes and actions  to do.  Why this is I do not know.. It has something to do with the expansion of time in  a vacuum. It is the anti-spanx law of the universe. Spanx law:  An intractable object is impossibly contracted with unnatural force. A billion dollar company. Torture yourself for 90 minutes every day instead in one of Bikram's Torture Chambers.

I was all ready for the 9:30 am class. Sped through one very orange light, to get to the 11:30 am class. I  do not know the name of the teacher I will call her Miss Crabtree. She gave a great tip rotate your  thighs inward. Great tip, great instruction except for my button pushing item  she was a countdown counter. I want to get out of my head and into my body  counting puts me in competition mode which is 100% inside my head.  I hung in there but was cursing under my breath.  I hate countdowns in Yoga  in way that is not logical or healthy..I cursed under my breath, darted out nasty glances, and said "f***"  under my breath. I generally bolt from a class when someone starts counting down.  I need a silent class to shake it off. Someone out there is teaching these teachers to do countdowns.. it must be stopped! Or I need to get over it.  Today I had trouble with all the high blood pressure poses -backward bend in half moon, standing bow, balancing stick,  locust and camel... Hummmmm...Maybe I should pull out the blood pressure cuff machine and check things. I noticed today that people around me sat a  lot,  and the other side of the class they did not. Would I have stuck it out more  if  I was on the other side of the class room?   Will need to move my matt over there next time to investigate.  Were they sitting because  I was sitting? All belching during the floor poses. not charming. Where is all this air coming from?  I definitely have not eaten.  After class I sat for 15 minutes, drank a water, and never felt revived. I wanted to run across the street to the gas station and get a big gulp Coke. Not good for me, sugar is is forbidden. I did not do it, but I considered the hippie drinks Kombucha, sounds awful don't know what it is but is sounds like something you catch.. oh man I was out of work all last week with some raving Kombucha. There is also the coconut water drink option. I tried that once,  oh yuck sickly sweet..   I am ready for nap.   Still paying too much attention to what people  are doing around me in class.

Bikram Yoga Tip of the Day: Standing Head to Knee Pose Dandayamana-Janushirasana  Like all the postures in this series, there are many layers or parts to each pose. My approach is to try and master one part, then build on it. I have the beginnings of many postures. I cannot get webbed grip of my fingers under my feet with posture.Yet, I Lock My Knee. I pull up on my quadriceps and I  balance on one leg, I round  my spine over, interlace all ten fingers and with my lifted leg, try to lasso the ball of my fee.  this year sometimes manage to weave the bent knee in between two taut arms. Some times I hold onto my shin or my ankles. If I hold onto my shin, I do not round my back down and just keep my gaze forward into the front mirror.  This year, I have had fingers under the ball of my feet several times but the knee of the upraised foot was not always in the right place. Thrilling though, it really feels like progress.    I feel it in my back. Maybe I will be five six again one day.

The Errant Onion

one tiny sliver

Day 2. Class 2.  98 to go I popped one tiny piece of a chopped onion in my mouth 2 hours before class. I was choking in pranayama breathing.  I  fell out of triangle, liquids wanted to flow up  in floor bow. I could  not go back in camel. Dizzy,  reguratating, not really an empty stomach. Not enough hydration. Every little piece matters.  I keep thinking I am strong, but missing 15 days, is like starting over.  Meet someone at the BYSC studio who did 150 days in a row since last July. I am inspired. I want to do doubles again.
Tonight was the 6:30 Class with Jay - a dynamite ( am I showing my age with this adjective?)  instructor. Clear instructions, good corrections .He made us hold things longer....I took a different spot up front and it was a H-O-T hot spot. We talked about TT. Jay also knew a spring yogi at TT -- from the Mission studio. Jay then taught the class likewe were at  TT. It was HOT!

For MM -I plan to show my solidarity and send good intentions  for you by going to class every day between now and graduation in June.

Awkward Pose

I will  attend the graduation ceremony mid June.

I Rise

Bikram Yoga Tip of the  Day: Utkatasana Awkward Pose. Let's talk about the easy part. I find I can't lower my so my thighs are parallel to the floor, but I brother  can I rise!  Like Maya Angelou . I rise rise  rise right up on my toes max-i-mum like a ballerina. I feel the front of my ankles opening up and my feet are getting so strong.   After years of yoga I have strong toes and strong fingers. Now, if only the rest of my body would fall in line.

Interfon Interference

Breathing tools

Two weeks of phlegm  & fever.
Two weeks  of rest and no practice. no blog.   Managed to get to an 11:30 am Saturday class. Not crowded, not amplified, lots of newbies on a sunny day.  Oddly dizzy class. Something set off my immune system and would not be stopped. Not breathing fully, only one nostril functioning.  I made it through the class with  minor  rest/breaks - my best effort today. A dear friend is taking off tomorrow for Bikram Teacher Training. A big adventure~!
 
Class was great.  I noticed today that I want to recognize people and I will think unknown people are known to me because they look like or remind me of someone I know.  Must be in our DNA to yearn to connect with others, or as the young people say -  be part of a social network.



Rhino virus as pretty as a panda

Bikram Yoga Tip of the Day: Half Moon Pose with Hands to Feet Pose- Ardha Chandrasana with Pada-Hatasana.  This is like riding on spring toy, you take your spine left and right then forwards and backwards with no break in between. See your throat when you look in the mirror. When you bring your arms up also open up your chest by keeping your tight arms by or behind your ears. LIFT LIFT LIFT, your whole body up - creating space between every vertebrae. Keep your whole body taut, facing front. You may feel like you are wobbling on a playground spring toy. Focus on keeping your body in one plane by  facing the mirror.  Take the stretch as far your breath will allow you. Breathe again and let your breath take your a centimeter farther. Every movement is a choice.  Let your body follow your breath.  Stretch your breath to stretch your body.

All Day Old Bitch Yoga

Left at 8 am came home at 8 pm. Posture clinic at BYDC with the director of Bikram Yoga San Diego - Jim,  and help from a Bikram yoga champion,
name forgotten. My practice changed enormously this day.

Yet this all day posture clinic left me deeply depressed. 

Quite the opposite of  the Bill Graham Posture Clinic in San Carlos. This posture clinic has lecture the evening before.  I was not expecting 50% of the all Day Posture Clinic to be devoted to sitting and listening to stories.  I was not planning on sitting at all.  

 I was nearly naked and the room was not the least bit heated. San Carlos kept the studio warm at 85  degrees, so it was not hot but you were not getting cold. 

And we did not do many, hardly any, postures in the first three hours.  

Jim, who led the clinic, seemed to be an angry guy.

Most of the attendees were Bikram instructors, (people who have already drank the koolaid).  By the time we had a break, I was so offended by some things that were said in the room that I was ready to leave and go home.  When the break happened and everyone left the studio for the lobby, I hung back,di not want to open mycranky  mouth, I mgight  get be stoned to death, or drowned like a Salem witch.  

Here are some things that got me riled up at the posture clinic-

The biggest thing to get me angry was the Dr. Story.

1. A story about doctors- Jim said,"Doctors consider an operation a success if the patient dies, as long as the insurance company pays, and Doctors get to go out on their yachts".  I found this story highly, wildly offensive.

2. One of the instructors asked about a move that some students make in Pacshimitthanasa of grabbing their butt cheeks and moving excess flesh out of the way before wiggling backwards. Jim said this is wrong- just do the dialog.   I raised my hand and attributed this adjustment to The Hot Yoga Doctor.  (I have this book and refer to it often.) Anger from Jim, "I remember her from teacher training, she did not pay attention, She is no Dr,  she is a Dentist) Not advocating anything just trying to provide context.  Today in looking at this book carefully, I did not find this correction in her Hot Yoga Master Class Book.  This is a correction I and many others have read somewhere for people who are obese.  I need to retract the Hot Yoga Master Class book as the source of this correction.It must have come for a yoga forum.

3.   The dialog.  I am not fan of the dialog. What the hell is Japanese Ham Sandwich? It has meaning for Bikram, who spent time in Japan, but I have no idea what a Japanese ham sandwich is supposed to look like and I don't want to make my body into a ham anything. I am pink and round. Nuff said. Why not say Panini? That is squished sandwich I understand.  Plus, I hate sandwiches, ( exceot paninis because they are warm) Sandwiches are a ruinous invention that took away civility and heat from lunchtime.  The Ear of Sandwich reduced the lunchtime from 3 hours to 45 minutes, if you are lucky.

Jim was emphasizing that you must must must stick to the dialog, and not give any one specific person an option of adapting these beginning yoga asanas, not to allow the student to strive from some thing less than optimum form.
As soon as you give an student a modification, they will no longer try to do the correct posture. 

4. I am that person. I was shown a modification for final spinal twist, and I have been doing the posture in a modified postiion way ever since. At the clinic the Yoga Champion came over and helped me do it the right way, it was simple. I was embarrassed at how much time I wasted doing this incorrectly because I had been given an OK to cheat.

5. There were 22 people in the room and Jim had a headset on.  I hate HATE HATE headsets. When I read the clinic was at daly city, which has a large studio,  I almost elected not to attend because it would mean amplification.  Ican talk to 20 peole and not need a headset. The amplification which gives me a headache. Headsets are the instructors crutch. If there is only one person speaking, there is no need to amplification unless you intend for your message to be processes  as shouting. It is a mental assault,  psychological yoga warfare. Est-like training approach.  

I stayed after for a class, even though there was headset and the teacher,  Jim, when correcting people  over a headset, (why not just stick to the dialog,  as we are all being shouted at, at least shout at us with the same instruction) he  
called all the women sweetheart--( SH in the blue, in SH the yellow)
 but he did not call the men youngfella or boy..... 

The young champion kept saying have fun, it's only yoga, and then I realized, I was not having fun.  I was mad.  It's only Yoga,  I was hoping it could be something more.

I was hoping it would change me.  It has changed me, but not in the way that I planned.  This clinic changed me.  No matter what has changed, I am, and remain, one old bitch.

Bikram Yoga Tip of the Day: Embrace you inner bitch, if that is who you truly are.  Painting of me  as a young girl, killing a kitten.