Midnight Train to Prada

day 83 l 17 to go

Wednesday 9:30 am class

September 30, 2009

I've fallen down and I can't get up.

(Its okay. I am wearing Prada)

Photo from Milan Fashion Week 2009.

My Yoga train is empty. Q4 has everyone busier than me.

The 26 postures still elude me. Current zeitgeist sez excercise does not matter, nuitrition does.Good thing I do not attend yoga for exercise. For me it is a meditative practice. Something to challenge the focus and quiet the mind.

Both primary care MD and Dermatologist both strongly advised there were better ways to spend my time than in Bikram Yoga practice. Dermatologist was strongly against it (for me). Regular Doc would have preferred the time spent walking.

What will I do 18 days from now?

Yoga tip of the day: Stretch your feet. In awkward pose, feel the heel releasing the soles of the feet down. In Tulandasana ,Balancing stick pose, move the weight around over your foot until you feel your body weight centered over the middle of the foot, then exhale through your arms, locking both your elbows and knees, pulling with all your might to reach opposite walls with fingers and toes.

Tuesday Afternoon

Day 82. l 18 to go

4:30 pm class.

Still not 100% well but definately not sicker.

Can not tell if sick is increasing fragrence sensitivities
or fragrances are making immune system fail.

I dream of large heppa air filters.

Yoga Tip of the day: Tree Stand. Rotate your leg as you lift it and push your knee as close the floor as possible. Concentrate on releasing your hip to lower your knee.

sicko pation

Monday September 28th

day 81/19 to go

Sunday after work, stuck in Folsom Street Faire traffic, my throat gave out. Red raw raspy and 19 days to go. How will I ever crush Jennifer (92 days in a row and is the studios top DRC number)

if I keep falling ill in the final count down days to my 100 days of yoga in a row goal?

BYC studio policy for DRC is no make up classes, no classes in other studios, it is one class every day, same studio. no 2 on Saturday and take Sunday off. This makes the DRC serious. I blame this illness on my attempt to cook food. I rambled about in my kitchen and threw things that were once considered food items purchased during the Eisenhower Administration into a crock pot and cooked them useless.

Is this veggie goop what took me down? It tasted good. Sort of like moose and squirrel stew. Am trying to eat healthy. I eat as much as I want as long as it is vegetable or fruit. Home early - to bed early and slept in past the 6am class. Entered the 9:30am class itching for fight, someone was poking at my dog outside, "she shouldn't be blocking the door" Bhah- That is her job. She is busy herding all of us the studio and sitting at the threshold of the door. protecting us. It's inbred. 60

minutes into the class could not breathe. Left the studio after the standing series. Really rare for me to leave, yet the second time in three months. Both for the same reason, can't breathe and the face is completely numb. Which is really a disturbing symptom of (not enough fox tv)?

Went home - Came back at 4:30 pm to keep the days in a row show going. 60 minutes is not a full class right? Actually feel much better, ate more goop. Maybe I need 150 minutes of yoga very day instead of the "normal" 90.

should try and throw in a few doubles in the countdown week.. I'll never be more primed than I am right now to do it.

Yoga tip of the day:awkward pose- Utkatasana

keep your legs arms and shoulders six inches apart and pull your heels up and out towards the mirror, keep your spine centered and eyes straight, chin parallel to the floor. Pushing the tops of your thigh bones down towards your heels will allow you to remain in this posture longer.

Shoulders engaged, yes please

Day 80/20 to go

Sunday the 27th

In the world of the internet, I like to remain anonymous.

Imagine my suprise when I saw a RSS feed of my yoga

rantings on my Plaxo service! I guess I kill the plaxo service.

The last place I would want anything this personal.

Sunday class mat to mat 33 people. One person too many.

One man stood still looking for a spot for his mat before class time.

He told me, his plan to get mat space was to 'Look Awkward' until someone moved.

Another name for a yoga classmate is born - Awkward Man. Good name!

Along with the other BYC Legionaires: Bendy Birl, Jet Engine Boy, Squiggly Girl, Giggly Guy and yours truley, The Damage has been Done Girl.

How do people named Nick get nicknames?

Yoga tip of the day: DarniwishIhadknownitwasroshhashanah. Separate standing forehead to knee pose - aka -Dandayamana Bihktapdada Janushirasana

If you cannot put your forehead to your knees and your hands in a steeple ahead of your feet on the ground, at least make sure that your arms are fully extended in front of you, shoulders fully engaged, elbows locked.

Convertible Difference

Day 79 l 21 to go

Saturday Class crowded

Only one aromatherapy oil lamp on.

Breatheable class is back.

Took cab to class, de-dogged car is ready today.

Fabulous rental car tuned back in to rental shop last night.

Driving a Porsche Boxster Convertible

delivers to the driver instant sex appeal.

New Vow - get a sexy convertible.

Yoga tip of the day: Form is everything and nothing, as it is impossible to attain. Do not strain and focus on breathing calmly no matter where you are in the pose, the slow release of your breath will take you where you want to go just like a 2009 Porsche Boxster convertible.

Yoga Gas Chamber

Friday l Day 78

Walked into the studio. It was like walking into a gas chamber. Did one breathing pose and had to walk out.

Came back at 4:30 pm it was worse.

Extra aromatheraphy oil is burning in the class.

Did a 90 minute class by holding my breathe.

no ability to breathe or balance - plus major headache.

The heat rises the molecules, they catch the trade winds from the cieling fan and it gets whipped across the entire classroom.

I'll need to quit the studio or get a mask.

The EPA says this about particulant matter in the air: " Particulate matter" also known as Particle pollution is a complex mixture of extremely small particles and liquid droplets,. Particle Pollution is made up of a number if components, including acids, ( such as nitrates and sulfates) organic chemicals, metals, and soil or dust particles. The size of the particles is directly linked to their potential for causing health problems, Small particles less than 10 micrometers in diameter pose the greatest problems, because they can get deep into your lungs and some may even get into your bloodstream. Exposure to such particles can affect both your lungs and your heart. Particles of concern include " inhalable particles PM, such as those found near roadways and dusty industries, which are 10 micrometers in diameter and smaller and fine particles or PM " ( such as those found in smoke and haze) which are 2.5 micrometers in diameter and smaller.

Yoga tip of the day: don't have tip, only headache.

Post, Miss Post?

I know how to appear 30 pounds thinner

Twenty years younger

in 24 hours

without any sweating

or bending at all.

answer on Saturday's post.

Day 76 & 77

Did the deed.

Missed the post.

Free Crisp $100 Dollar Bills

Day 75 l

25 to go

Car in the shop

for de-dogification:

New seats, headliner

and carpet.

Smells like something skunk-like

died inside my car.

Offered Crisp 100 Dollar bills today to people to show up at my dog and pony show. Busy day. No car, bought groceries they are still sitting in bag on the floor.

Three contracts behind. Must schedule two cabs for the morning.

Love my Crisp $100 dollar bills. they make me so very very very happy.

Great hand feel.

Texture is top notch.

It is way way way past my bedtime.

Yoga tip of the day: Tree pose.

Find the notch in your sternum, and place the joint of your thumb there.

Cheese in my Veins

day 74 l 26 to go

My personal record

Alpha Cells of the pancreatic islets are not cooperating.

everything I have read or heard that is supposed to change or adjust with a regular practice of yoga does not happen with/to/on/ me. Either ingrained and hard to shake intake habits, (coffee, sugar, starches, and genetic predispositions, to crave above substances) The real changes need to occur on the cellular level inside brain/hormone chemistry that I don't understand how it works (yet)

to visit a any Dr one is given medicine that begins a path of lifelong drug consumption. The only drugs I want to take are those given out at raves. :) ( do they still have raves?)

My blood pressure after nonstop bikram yoga practice is mind blowingly high. the 42% fat diet I have been ingesting may have something to with this.

But I do enjoy the cheese, the most popular cheeses in all of the Europe have taken up permanent illegal residency inside my arteries. Everytime I get on a plane I think DVT

.

Yoga tip of the day: Pranayama Breathing press your thumbs into your throat throughout this breathing practice

The Effects Of Gamma Rays

Day 73 l 27 to go

Sunday 9:30 am Class

Open house today Workday Sunday.

class was 32 mats to the floor. full house

Almost had a claustrophobic panic attack

during the floor series. Right in front of the bathroom

door means no savasana at the end of class as everyone is climbing over you.

Drank the Kissler with one of the rat pack. I am now done with my week of why yes.

no its back to why no, even if it means I have to chain myself to the radiator when the full moon comes out.

Yoga pose top of the day: Bow pose

Let your shoulders blades move closer together. Keep your knees and feet six inches apart

44.1%.183.4.152.115

Wine knot

Day 72 l 28 to go

After a hot Friday afternoon of chardonnay and chat with the neighborhood corner cafe local why no's. its a late Saturday class at 11:00 am . Scored some wine at a garage sale across from the studio. A Kissler Chardonnay that will not last long. Don't know what this says about my no alcohol resolve. did it dissolve? I will take these 11 bottles down the cellar and stash themn until it is time for the annual spy party. Buy wine from private wine collectors. It makes for interesting drinking.

I meet my record of 73 days in row tomorrow. (pre H1N1?flu last May) Have done a lot lot lot of yoga this year and last, and there is a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long way to go.

Yoga tip of the day: Pranayama Breathing:

Find the balance between ease and effort with each breath.

Sizzlinging Heat

Day 71 l 29 to go

6 am class Friday,

One of the yoga rat pack makes a reappearance.

Practicing with friends is nice. I am grateful whenever they can join me in class.

It is easy to make food and drink the center around which social activities lie

When the weather is warm the wine cellar releases its siren song: its too hot for your brain to work have a drink do not think

Yoga tip of the day: Half tortoise pose: there was a tortoise and scorpion sitting along a river bank

The scorpion ask the tortoise to ferry him ontop of the tortoise to the other side of hte river bank. The tortoise said no, you will sting me and kill me. The scorpion points out he too would die too if he stabbed tortiose and not make it to his destination.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stabs and kills the tortoise. They both drown in the river.

Every creature remains true to its nature.

My nature is not bendy.

The stronger the stretch into the steeple, the better the pose.

Fashion Heroin takes her Toll

Day 70 l 30 to go

Ran out of steam today. Corner spot

too many mirrors I became panicked

What do they say in rear view mirrors, anyway?

Objects appear, closer, larger, older than they actually are?

Felt clastrophobically crowded though the class size

was a right size. Must stay away from the corners

where the mirrors meet. Somone compared class high

to heroin. The receptors on the brain that bond with

opiates -very different. Pass that opium pipe right over here.

definitely a superior high.

I am to go to a fashion show today, as a VIP guest

of large American corporation. Should I shower?

hmmm. Will I stick to water?Its the start of free booze season.

Skinny Bitches

good nutrition book

(who'd a thunk it?)

as it Joel Furmans Eat to Live.

Hoping to get a Kessler's new book.

Yoga tip of the day: Camel trick move the hips forward so they are closer to the front of the room than the knees, As you lean back, feel the stretch in your neck as you drop your head back, use hands on the lower back to stretch your hips forward in front of your knees.

No rest for The Wicked

Day 69 l 31 to go
6am Wednesday

Woke up it was Bhopal morning
and the first thing that I smelt
was death outside my window
That toxic unrefined oil dealt
Bodies were dropping dead like raindrops
and feasted on by insects.

Not quite joni mitchell.
Not really funny either.

Women get treated like shit everyday.
Not just me.
Need stronger yoga.

Yoga tip of the day: Dandayamana Dhanurasana
Standing Bow Pulling Pose -
Grab an ankle with your hand push against your hand with your ankle until the leg is rising behind you and away from you glutus maximus, straighten out your raised leg, push the knee until the length of your raised leg forces your spine forward and down. Keep you neck relaxed, chin parallel to the floor. eyes front and centered.

They Shoot Horses Don't They?

Day 68 l 32 to go.

I am tap dancing as fast as I can. Doing my best for everyone around me. Vitriol pushed back at me daily. Frustration over standard business practices and language is monumental. I should not take it personally, but it hurts when you put a little bit of your soul into creating a win-win for everyone and you get the evil eye for a thank you. Not, "thanks you so much, we love this experience, you were a great help. We definitely want you the be the godmother of our children." The love affair with my clients is decidedly a one-way affair. I should stop adopting each person I meet into my own private universal family. I am a sucker for humanity, that is my biggest flaw.

Tuesday's class day killer starts at 9:30am.
Tuesday I should be at work at 7:45 am
Not working Tuesdays is risking too much
And my dog is sick, Again.

Yoga tip of the day: Do all you can, while you can.

One day you cant.

I like Mondays

Day 67 l 33 to go
6 am class
small class
Great way to start the day.

Monday is catch up on tasks day, make phone calls, my favorite day.

Yoga tip of the day: Ardha Kurmasana. Take your time with the set up. It takes me two full 6 count breathes to get fingers to the floor. Keep your arms straight, palms flat, stretching and pressed against your ears throughout the pose.

Miss Dairy Queen

Day 66 l 34 to go

Sunday 9:30 am
Weekend warrior class
mat to mat
A love affair with dairy products. milk cheese butter. And wine - french, Californian, Chilean, south African: the terrior is the oyster After 2 Saturday parties, half glass of champagne at one and and one and one half glasses of glass of pinot noir at the other, Opps on the no alcohol for the rest of this challenge. Literally sweating cheese through my pores. Holy cow (and goat)!

The wine equals sugar, the cheese salt and oil I cannot feel my heart beating in my chest. Late start time class time means arriving fully caffeinated. How can one remain civilized without coffee wine butter cheese and bread? Supportive and crowded class. Made almost every pose.

Yoga Pose Tip of the Day: Pvananuktasana - Wind Removing Pose. Try and align your hips while you are grabbing your elbows and pressing down.

Energizer Bunny

Saturday Class 8:30 am

Day 65 l 35 to go

With two identical outfits and ten identical towels people may assume I am (not?) washing these items every day.

A moldy funk emanates from towels & togs - double washing does not help.

Someone today asked I was still practicing daily.
Yes, the insane daily ritual yoga show keeps rolling forward.

I have not told too many people about this challenge, the yoga rat pack, my one reader, and the instructor. Those who work with me encourage me to keep going - vigorously. How much worse was I?

Yoga tip of the day: Trikanasana Triangle Pose. Don't turn your head too quickly. Move your legs out ankles under wrists. and keep your eyes front while you turn the foot of your bending leg out. Move your palms forward before you move your chin to your shoulder, As you bend your knee over ankle, feel the stretch in your pelvic floor.

Two espresso day before the 4:30 pm class

AIIIIIIII AIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIII

Bhopal Buddah

Day 63 l Day Killer 9:30 am class.

my brain vs. gordon liddy's brain

Busy work day. Miss the help from before the great recession. Now without help everything at work is late. Behind. Still out of kibble. Dog is getting skinnier. Left office mid email to make 9:30. late = bad spot. For me, near the oil.

Today front and center, directly over the Bhopal waste site. dropped my mat. The wind blew out the candle. Universe is on my side. Can I do a yoga class and hold my breath at the same time? standing series wasn't too bad, we are at least five feet away from Bhopal but all the parts of the body bugs eat first when you die are on fire. IS body is sending out death & decay signals for bugs to come and munch on lips gums, nose tip, nasal passages, soft pallet, white brain matter. The brain beneath my skull feels dessicated. Head is throbbing, heat and lungs hurt. Lilliputians with chainsaws are sawing up my skull. Why did I crack my egg the wrong way? Why do I care about adding a number to a series so much that I will put myself in this position? I Gordon Liddy with his hand in the flame? The trick about the pain is not to matter.... floor series is impossible, They must be heavy molecules that linger near the floor .

Yoga tip of the day: Tulandasana Balancing stick pose. Keep your neck muscles loose and your head and eyes looking towards the front (mirror), Pull your arms tightly to the sides of your Head and reach the fingertips forwards. Rotate the elevated leg until the top of your foot is parallel to the floor.

Cell Phone Catch 22

A Long Island man, who donated his kidney to his wife, now wants it back as part of the divorce.

These are my people. Why I moved.

Day 62 l :6:00am class

ruined by a cell phone, buzzing on silent for one entire hour.

Maybe the phone owner was waiting for a kidney?

"Your kidney has arrived, the transplant team is in place, you must get to the hospital within 30 minute or you loose it to someone on site.

"sorry I was at yoga, and I did not want to answer my phone."

Let's shoot the phone owner!

Answer the phone or turn it off.

Who needs to bring your cell phone into a yoga studio?

Falling out of pose with each annoying "silent" alarm of the cell phone. Buzz buzz.

Sound's like Lilliputians hacking bodies with tiny chain saws

throwing body parts into a wood chipper.

How would Fargo play with Lilliputians in it?

If we actually had real Lilliputians.

Buzz buzz, fall fall, which person is it in this room

that I actually want to kill?

Buzz Buzz, Fall Fall.

I don't know just shoot them all.

Buzz Buzz, fall fall, tiny people would be good at chopping off toes. Too bad you did not get that kidney in time. Rotten toes is diabetes not renal failure. Buzz buzz, fall fall . LET IT GO. It doesn't matter at all. Buzz buzz, fall, fall, Hey Yossarian, shoot the cell phone commandeer. Yossarian, buzz buzz fall fall, dive bomb the cell phone owner, yoga mat and all. It is the only way to honor the bovine within you. Yossarian? Shoot the cell phone commandeer. Buzz buzz, fall fall. It's a tiny sound, after all. I am out of kibble, will the dog starve? which is the most important thing to do today? The client did not call. I did not work last night. Buzz buzz, fall fall, yoga does not work after all.

Yoga tip of the day: no gun phones in the studio. It is a real trick to hold your ankles, arms, chin up, heels up, knees bent with murderous intent.

Islets of Langerhans

Day 61. Day Killer 9:30 am Class.

First meeting was at 7:20 am.

Coffee and aggravation in a bad outfit pre-class. A daily 6am class is the preferred way to start the day. Not today.

Not sure if I can tell my kidneys from my pancreas.

There is a place *(K?/P?) where your place hands on your lower back now talking to me. Just not sure what is being said.

Is it the Islets of Langerhans declaring, " We will turn on the hormones of your youth, you have such a fabulous half moon back bend, it's the least we can do." Not the pancreas snarling, "Stop all this bending and sweating and get a life."

Yoga pose tip of the day: Half moon pose, the back bend. Dan from Locust Valley Bikram told us we all seemed to be clenching acorns with our butts in the back bend. Drop the acorn. Bending, like the nation should be kinder, gentler. Pull your scapula away from your spine.

Day 60 Class for two

Monday is a class holiday. In the studio with a friend who attends class with me quite regularly. We are going to do a practice on our own. I drive the yoga train and picked up the yoga "rat pack" three or more times a week. The difference between the mat to mat class with an instructor and doing it on our own is timing. After I don't know how many classes, still needed to get up and read the list of poses before heading to the studio to secure it in the mind. Luckily, had help. We did not miss any of the poses. And we did each pose twice. A long pre-class savasana (10 minutes) and started 6:30 am. We finished 15 minutes early at 8:15 am. Timing. the first set a little too fast perhaps? The savasana too quick, maybe. After this chance, I am convinced learning happens best in a classroom. Self taught is not the same. This is the second time I have practiced in a studio without an instructor. This time all the poses were done in the correct order - progress.

Yoga pose tip of the day: Standing separate forehead to knee pose. Arms smushed next to ears, palms flat together, fully engaged in a long stretch for the entire posture.

VO2 Max and mass hysteria

Sunday's Class is mat to mat. This studio has begun it's ascension into critical mass. 32 people in the classroom this morning, it's much more crowded than the calm 8 person yoga studio I walked into last year. There is not an inch to spare. What happens when the 33rd person shows up at the door?

The group concentration in the larger class is interesting.

Breathing matters.

Fick Equation: VO2 max= Q(CaO2- CvO2) Q is cardiac output of the heart CaO2 is the arterial oxygen content and CvO2 is the venous oxygen content. Wonder how this type of yoga effects VO2 max. According to a study at UC Davis in 2001, not really. VO2 max may increase 6-7% and University of Wisconsin says no significant change in VO2 Max or the maximal heart rate. This is per Athleteinme.com & Wikipedia.

Yoga tip of the day:

tomorrow.

The Ties that Bind

Saturday notes posted Sunday
Ropes are better. This is a Peruvian skull where someone bound an infant's head to a board with ropes to elongate the skull. The pressure to be perfect has many forms. It's a negotiable world - The Great Recession is here. Am dying to spend spend spend spend at all the auction houses. Saw the term " There Great Recession" in print today. It's time to stock up on beans and rice. The days in row show rambles forward. The studio is closed on Monday- given access to the secret underground lair so the days in row show will continue Monday with a solo class. Work also is a slow drip. Work is lining up slowly, people are lining up slowly, my hips and knees are lining up slowly, the bills are lining up quickly... need stronger yoga.

Yoga tip of the day: For every pose - move one millimeter at a time, breathe one microsecond at at time. go slow slower slowest. Use your strength gently.

Total Recall

I may be enslaved to my amygdala, but I do know rats are different from us.

New York City Rats - They only go out at night, they are fatter than beavers, have shiny fur coats. They all seem to carry Fendi bags.

Rats have the great "brown fat", which allows them to burn fat fast. Do not trust weight loss drugs developed by testing on rats. They process fat burning much differently. Still talking to my mitochondria about revving up their engines.

They don't have ears though.

NPR did a story erasing stressful memories in rats.

They mess with the rats' amygdala.

Yoga is a tool to avoid the amygdala hijack -

when you wig out, go postal, choose your own term.

Yoga tip of the day: Full Locust Poorna-Salabhasana Each pose is made up of several components working together. Be happy to master a small part of any one pose.

Keep your legs straight, feet and knees together as you lift.

Left Brain Overdrive

Day 58. Day Killer Class at 9:30 am.

Arrive fully caffienated.

First Unyoga thought of the class: Get the bleep out of my mirror space, b***h. It's left brain overdrive ( LBO).

As soon as a conscious decision is made to give anything up, LBO kicks up cravings for stimulants: caffeine, sugar, grease, fat, salt, and chocolate.

Part of the brain knows what to do.

The LBO which beats me down daily.

Needed stronger yoga.

Problem yoga pose: Standing head to knee pose Dandayamana-Janushirasana find myself wishing daily for a double mastectomy, not a good thought.

Will Pamela Anderson ever become too old for her boob job?

Yoga tip of the day: Savasana Dead Man's pose. No not move a muscle, do not flinch, twitch or over manipulate your breathe. See how much of the floor you can feel. How much of you feels the floor back.

Small Changes

Set intention. Think small.

Control the Mitochondria. Organize my Organelle. You have to know your power base to get things done. Increase mitochondrial uncoupling by meditation.

6:30 pm class last night. 6:00 am class today. Energy at the end of day class interesting. Easy physically, tougher mentally. The afternoon class was more alert. I love the 6:00 am class. Still in dream state, the dawn, or just ahead of the sun. Each day a nice new quiet clean slate upon which endless possibilities manifest. Easier to set intention. A determined belief in dictatorial control over mitochondria.

Oddest thought in class: What do callus's on my knees say about me as a person?

Yoga Pose problem of the day: Bow. Pulling my leg out and into the air above my waist line had spinning around like a dog chasing her tail. made two complete circles on my mat. Very 3 Stooges. Mind inside crying, "whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop." No mistake.

Yoga pose tip of the day: Ardha Kurmasana Half Tortoise pose Slowly with a full breathe bring your arms over your head. Move your spine up and straight out. The slow exhales stretches you as you guide your pinkie fingers to the floor.